1. |
From the Dirt
02:02
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At the beginning of time the clock struck one
Then dropped the dew and the clock struck two
From the dew grew a tree and the clock struck three
The tree made a door and the clock struck four
Man came alive and the clock struck five
Count not, waste not the years on the clock
Behold I stand at the door and knock
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2. |
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When I’m alone
Hell becomes my home
A rotten mind is all I have
With nothing else to add
Nothing else to add
Dead to the world or dead to myself?
Breaking and aching
Fake smiles make me
They’re scared to see the light
These voices don’t just haunt me at night
My mind is set in stone
I belong in hell
Dead to the world or dead to myself
Feels like a poison in me but not in anyone one else
I never thought I would get here
I never thought I would feel so cold
I do this to myself
But I am reaching out
Screaming out for help
No one can hear me now
There’s no escaping
My mind was stuck shaking
Another life slipped away
Two minutes and no beat or pulse
Life was not yet done
The release of DMT
Hallucinations was all I could see
Choking on myself
I didn’t ask for help
No more tears left to cry
In love with the idea; I must die
Dead to the world or dead to myself
Don’t see
Don’t speak
Just sink
In the face of death I shed away
To wake for another day
I must accept that I shall just eventually just fall into decay
I refuse to grow old
Acceptance
I am so cold
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3. |
Child of Jisatsu
03:22
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I can’t break free from these chains
It’s chilling
My grain of existence is breaking down
I’m here but I don’t want to be found
I can’t keep tearing at seams
I must accept, I don’t deserve to breathe
Slit my wrists and let the dirt bleed
Slit my throat and watch all life leave
Slit my wrists and let the dirt bleed
Slit my throat and watch all life leave
Death follows me everywhere I go
Enticing me to a new place I can call home
I’ll project where my sanity is stored
All across the walls
I live on the floor
I can’t be here anymore
Do I close my door?
I am eternal hurt
The ice cold barrel, chills my teeth
I hear her screams, she dropped to her knees
“Put it down”
She pleads
I’m sorry mother, I can’t be here anymore
I held the black lava of death
I envisioned a saga of the end
Stained I am; A lamb for the damned
Follow where the void leads
It takes me to a place where we all must leave
Never find me
Erase all of my being
Caught in the chains of Jisatsu
I devote my life to this note
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4. |
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This will be birth 'til death
This will be birth 'til death
This will be birth 'til death
I am eternal hurt
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5. |
Muted Sleep
03:42
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Even when I’m by myself
I abuse all help
Fallen from hell
Blood vessels burst by tension
The suspension of weight and waiting
I don’t feel happiness anymore
Decayed straight from the core
Even in my dreams
I wish I could scream
Faces of the dead haunt me
Death feeds on what’s left in me
You can’t scream for help
When you’re trapped in hell
The sky has now become the ground
Heavens have found the hell I dig for
Like a starving stomach
I’m hungry for hurt
Tears feel like acid on my cheek
Knees bleeding from pleading
“Rotten Mind” carved on my bones
Even in my dreams, I can’t feel pain
Even in my dreams, I still cannot grieve
A cliff I formed and fell down
How ever will I climb back from this?
A trench of death, it feels like bliss
“Rotten Mind” carved on my bones
Blood drenched sheets
This is my home
Even in my dreams, my head feels so heavy
Even in my dreams, suicide seems so tempting
Dear death
These deaf dreams are a sign
I am ready
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6. |
Words to God
04:26
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Spineless coward, I hope you fucking burn
From the dirt I have come
An endless fire, your creations will succumb
Seperate yourself
Reverse the cycle of life
You’re so sick from existing
Stop resisting
You know the hates constricting
Exist in nothing
Stop resisting
You’re hated by what you created
Humiliated
You can’t create life without death
You can’t force love without hatred
Your presence weighs nothing on me
Forever, you deceive
Beg for me to believe
God of life
More like god of lies
Your book of death means nothing to me
You’re a mental game, creating slaves
Day by day, your presence drifts away
I repent
I repent
I repent
I repent
I repent
I repent
I resent
I've danced with the devil
As you’ve left me behind
Your grace I no longer wish to find
I talk to you
Devil creator
Humanities traitor
Brought upon the wrath of fire and brimstone
The lake of flames
I'll call my home
Crown of thorns
Was it worth your throne?
God of compassion, never to be shown
I know what’s it’s like to die
I’ve seen the light
I know there’s nothing inside
Creator of all
A father to none
Sacrificing your only son
Screaming at the top of my lungs
The holy father
The holy son
The unholy fire
God of runts
God what a cunt
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7. |
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I saw a ghost today
It was myself
I’m one with the forsaken
We’re all alone and breaking
We’ll all die and never reawaken
Watching but never controlling
When I look in the mirror what do I see?
The demon that lurks within me
A gaze unbroken, unable to unseen
Hurting and never healing
Anguish is all I know
Shake and break
The void calls my name
Enticing me
Telling me life will never be the same
Condemned to loss
I’ve given up on hope
Now I pray
I can cut me loose
From the darkness that’s inside of me
No I will not become another fucking tragedy
Faded, jaded
My thoughts intoxicated
But through the struggle
My will has dominated
Rotten Mind
Bound to purgatory
Lost without the light
Stomped into darkness
I am but a rotting carcass
This darkness is all I know
Life made me to be alone
Distorted by dereliction
Lost with no direction
I can’t find my way
Bury me neck deep in the dirt of blame
Paralysed in pain
Bury me neck deep in the dirt of blame
Licked by flames that hiss my name
An addict to pain
A face for the insane
Oh please let me die
I’ve now cut the veins of my sickness
Bleeding out, fading into grey
Becoming nothing but a blank space
The forsaken
One step forward
One thousand steps down
Straight into hell
I’m what no one wants to see
There’s nothing left
Just pain inside of me
How do I break free?
In agony, I cannot scream
I plea, yet no one is listening
I saw a ghost today
It was myself, burning in hell
Almost two decades of “I’m okay”
Silently suffering
Frayed to the core
Never to be restored
This is more than just paranoid
Chained here
Forevermore
This is our place in the void
This is my spot in the void
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